Monday, April 12, 2010

Frat House Memories - A Cautionary Fable (Part 2)

My mind made up, I marched past the still babbling form of Eric Fox and straight to the RA, lighting up what must have been his twelfth cigarette judging by the size of his initial drag. Eric was close behind, desperately trying to talk me down from the ledge that was this frat house dorm room.

“I’ll take it.” I said, handing him the pre-made out check for two hundred and fifty dollars and ignoring Eric. I had decided long before I got here that I was moving in.

He glanced briefly at the check and stuffed it in his pocket, producing a key in the same hand as it came out of said pocket.

“Cool man.” He said with the cigarette dangling from his lips as he handed me the key. “It’s all yours ‘til school starts. Your roommate doesn’t move in ‘til then.”

“Suitemate.” I corrected him. “There’s two of us in the suite conjoined by the bathroom right?”

He looked at me like I had asked him to shave my back.

“There’s two of you in a room. Four of you in a suite. I gotta get out of here. See you next month.”

He turned and walked away so rapidly, he created a vacuum that whisked the cigarette smoke away with him. Two guys in that one little room? There was barely enough room to turn around without smacking into two walls at once. Four men sharing one bathroom? It would be like a Sports Arena restroom, but in my house. I suddenly wasn’t so sure I could go through with this.

I tried to halt him, to ask him if he was serious, but only a string of unintelligible sounds came out. On top of that, he was all but gone. He had managed to cover roughly fifty yards in about two seconds. I dimly wondered how a smoker could be so nimble. It was no use, even if I had managed to make an intelligent query he probably wouldn’t have heard me anyway: My words would’ve been completely drowned out by the maniacal laughter of the suit-clad imbecile behind me.

Part 3 incoming this wednesday

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